WHY?

Life is indeed all about sacrifices
You don’t get what you want
You wait and wait, days, months and years
A ray of hope appears, but bridged by the clouds.
When is it that you get what u wish? Does anyone ever get?
Or is it a mere fairytale that we read out to the little ones ending with a 'happily ever after'?
Why is it that we don’t face the truth?
Why do we embark the little lives with fairy tales in which they grow up to believe in?
There is no prince charming or the perfect man.
It all boils down to a sacrifice that you have to make for something someone has told
Or even for an uncertain future
Cuz whats in your hand today is whats definite
Even the 2 promised hearts have no defined path.
Time leads the way, you sacrifice for an indefinite future
And blindfold yourself into a world of uncertain sorrow!

Love,
Rakshitha

Its HOPELESS..!

I have a freaky twin, Vani.. I've known her inside out and know every pain and suffering she goes through.. But whats that got to do with this..??? well, her life traded a path of hopelessness and helplessness.. I've been there to know whats happening and not everyone learns from others mistakes.. if fate only wanted dis to be so hopelessly the same, den here it goes!

We have walked every path of each other's life. If she's experienced something today and i have seen it closely, i know i shouldn't repeat it.. but you think fate lets tat happen..?? there is no way either of us can escape it.. and so i know that if either of us experience anything, the other has it in store.. patiently waiting.. and here is my turn to experience the hopelessness she went through.. or actually is still going through.. i met a friend recently or actually got to know a person recently, and as i cant keep anything silent, i told her, "vani i got a new friend and ... ... blah blah.. ... and we bonded quite well.." she said, "rakshu seeing u speak like dis, m reminded of myself.. u know what i mean rite..?" n i knew what she meant.. i said,"don worry vani, u know na tat wont happen..?" and as days passed, i found myself following the path vani traded..

Every morning as i woke up, all i did was to message and den talk talk talk.. as i travelled, in class, during lunch, wen back home and till i slept without my knowledge.. i did everything to stay awake every minute the other was awake.. wait, dis is not love! not at this stage atleast..! i stared at my cell every single time i got a report telling ,"delivered to :) " i was so addicted to dis person already..! everything tat happened seem perfect.. i haven found a person dis interesting in a long time and this was something.. the path of thoughts began changing its directions and the first thing i did was to tell vani, "vani, i think m feeling like you do.. but just 0.000001% of it.." vani laughed..! may be she knew what was in store for me.. and so did she warn me to save myself from it.. but what would you do wen u meet a person, get attached to him/her, and your feelings start travelling a new road while you don't even know who he/she is.. you haven seen him/her or even heard their voice..! but you know whats gonna happen if you fall in love.. its not a voluntary action..!

I don't really know whats happening but there's not a single day tat passes without a smile on my face lost in thoughts, or watching a picture or simply even while msgin.. it was then waiting on messengers for a single reply or just for tat online status to beep, and now, there isn't much difference.. its just d buzz of the phone.. :) it becomes everything wen u find a ear to hear, one's time to juz make u smile, a msg to juz ask y u sound low only because a smile was missing in ur previous msg..! or simply cuz u sent a short message instead of a lengthy one..! it doesn't really take long for all this to happen and i now know..

whats that which matters to u d most..? you realise looks are nothing.. what r u if u r all good looking and still don understand one's feelings or even good looking and still not the perfect one..! looks found no place in my list.. i did c the pics, n so did vani.. she said, "not bad..! rakshu..!" so u know, i din mind anything after tat.. today, rather at dis moment wen i recollected my day, i realized tat i hadn't recieved a single msg since morning while i had sent soo many..! now y was i waiting for any msg..? i now realise that it is the same path i will be travelling and on an untarred path with many sharp stones tat will hit me hard everytime i increase my pace and puncture my feelings everytime i go slow.. i know i have nowhere to go, now tat i couldn't help myself.. it all remains HOPELESS yet again..!

A REPLY

You wrote too
But not for me..
I knew every feeling that was in it,
I'd felt it too as deep.


You answered my questions
With what You wrote for her,
You said You were for real
She shouldn't buy the You who others sold to her.


It was just around two years ago
I tried explaining the same to You
You still bought them
Leaving the real me behind.


I don't know where we stand today
But I know for sure
It was exactly what I wanted to tell You,
I'm no artificial..


I was there for You,
All the while praying
For it to keep me through,
But You were blinded..


I hope atleast now You understand it too..


Love,
Rakshitha.S

WHEN YOU LEFT..

The world fell silent, not even dark,
All sounds blanked out, with time so dry,
It all seemed like ne'er before, but why?
Did it mean anything or was it a significant mark?
I saw a thousand faces, but none about lark,
I heard a thousand words, but all seemed a lie,
The sounds heard were all of a cry,
Like the thoughts and words that sailed with the bark..
Was that a poor vapid dream? My soul was pained,
My very soul, to have slept while others woke..
Everything black, thunder struck, sorrows like swords rained,
Was it true that my love left, with pain to revolt?
But, just then I realised, it was none a joke,
Without my love, my life and soul all drained..

Love,
Rakshitha.S

LUCK

I planned a ride,
Deep into the woods,
All set to explore,
And excitement higher than it could..

Time arrived,
And luck wasn’t by my side..!

I saw a charming guy,
Who stole my heart away,
I needed to speak,
Even before, all ruined it lay..

Time arrived,
And luck wasn’t by my side..!

A very nice girl that I could be,
Expectations riding high on me,
I strived all day and night,
Only to know it dint even touch the tree..

Time arrived,
And luck wasn’t by my side..!

Truthful was I,
To save a life of innocence,
I fought all way,
To know it was all mere ignorance..

Time arrived,
And luck wasn’t by my side..!

Dejected, frustrated,
I went to give up life’s crown,
As I walked on the tracks
To lay my head down..

Time, finally arrived,
And.. Ah..! Even then luck wasn’t by my side..!

Love,

Rakshitha.S

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